Yes, I Can Help You Eat Less

• Eat off a smaller plate, using even smaller utensils, at a minuscule table inside a tiny house.

• Treat yourself to a Hershey's kiss every time you eat 100 celery stalks.

• Always take the first spoonful of yogurt and fling it at your child - (1) over time the calories will really add up and (2) the kid probably did something to deserve it.

• Every time you have a craving for something sweet, slam your finger in the car door.

• When you go out to eat, ask your waitress to bring half of your entree out as an appetizer, serve half as your main course and box up the remaining half for you to have as lunch tomorrow.

• You don't have to finish off that bottle of wine tonight; you can stick it in the fridge and it'll keep at least one more day.

• There's a simple way to tell if your serving size is too large:  it's ALWAYS too large.

• Drink a big glass of water before your meal and then a big glass of water instead of your meal.

• Ask your waiter: “What's your least popular dish?”

• When you're in the drive-thru at a fast-food joint, ask yourself “What the hell am I doing in the drive-thru at a fast-food joint?”

• Yes, it's a sin to waste food but I believe “gluttony” is on the big board as well.

• Chew each bite 20 times (or at least two).

•  There's one guaranteed way to make you eat less:  let me cook for you.