Thursday, May 28, 2015

Happy Birthday Dear Jack, You Smell Like a Yak

My birthday plans...

• Go to the office but refuse to do any work (okay, okay, that’s pretty much my normal routine).

 Update my will to include provision leaving my blog to Science.

 Treat myself to a pedicure (remember to bring earplugs to muffle the nice Korean lady’s screams of horror).

 Make a “Bucket List”, then cross off item #1: (“Make a Bucket List”)

 To complete my dream of leaving behind something big and meaningful to generations to come, I decide on this enormous pile of dirty laundry.

 Vow to act my age (minus 40 or so years).

 Decide not to waste time worrying and moaning about stuff I have no control over; it’ll give me more time to worry and moan about stuff I do have control over.

 As a special treat, put real cream in my coffee, as well as a Snickers bar and a pint of whiskey.

 Take time to apologize to all those dumbasses I’ve offended with my hurtful words.

 Rededicate myself to rededicating myself to rededification.

 Check with my accountant Harvey Ponzi and make sure my 401(K) funds are still earning 250% per year.

 Accept that every day on earth is the true gift (but was an “Ask Me About My Blog” t-shirt too much to ask for? Really?)


  1. Hpppy birthday, Jack - wish I could join you for that awesome cup of coffee you'll be having!

  2. Happy Happy Birthday!!! Enjoy the cream and whiskey in your coffee!!

  3. Happy birthday! I never thought of leaving my writing to science, my Will asks my executor to burn all my diaries unread! Tricky now it's all online.

  4. A very Happy Birthday to you Jack! I hope it's been a wonderful day!

  5. Slightly belated Happy birthday Jack! I hope it was a wonderful day =)

  6. I just liked it! Thanks for the information about birthday host or party planning! You know my local party planner also suggested us best party venue rentals for birthday party celebrations.



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