Wednesday, January 7, 2015

Healthy Living on a Budget? You Bet Your Cash!

• You can make your own bicycle by welding together two unicycles.

 Cutting back from four to just two grande Cinnamon Dolce Lattes at Starbucks per day will save you over $3,000 per year.

 When you’re at the mall, you can turn an escalator into plain ol’ stairs by simply hitting the Emergency Stop button.

 You can spend a smaller percentage of your income on healthy food by getting a job that pays more.

 An easy way to earn extra money is to take advantage of my special program where I pay you a dollar to wear a “Jack Sh*t is My Workout Buddy” t-shirt at the gym.

 Some fitness centers will knock $5 a month off your bill if you’ll sign a contract that lasts the rest of your life.

 Buy groceries when you are not hungry, not too rushed and don’t have a lot of money.

 You can grow your own vegetables by planting vegetable seeds in the ground, dumbass.

 Almost any exercise you can do with a resistance band, you can do with old pantyhose or tights. I know that sounds like one of my joke tips, but I cut-and-pasted that bad boy from a real article on the internet. That’s the fine line between my health tips and those created by paid professionals!

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