Monday, September 9, 2013

Low-Tech Health

• Instead of an expensive heart rate monitor, simply make best friends with a nurse you'll check your numbers whenever you ask.

• Instead of buying a home treadmill, install a sidewalk that goes all around your neighborhood.

• Instead of buying expensive running shoes, simply try on some expensive running shoes and "accidentally" walk out wearing them (better be prepared to try those suckers out soon depending on alertness of security guard).

• Instead of purchasing an expensive juicer, try beating the hell out of whatever you want to juice with a heavy mallet.

• Instead of taking a Segway around the running track, try running on your own two legs.

• Instead of buying expensive bicycling suit that makes you look ridiculous, simply cover your body with fluorescent spray paint in ridiculous design.

• Instead of purchasing a water bottle, try filling a bottle with water.

• Instead of joining a fitness center, make your entire world the center of fitness.

Instead of buying fresh, organic fruits and vegetables, try having a generous friend with a garden full of fresh, • organic fruits and vegetables

• Instead of buying expensive Greek yogurt, try Greeking up some regular yogurt.

• Instead of reading my blog on the Internet, sign up for Jumpin' Jack's Health Facts Fax.


  1. Zen all the way, baby. Less is more, which then makes more less.

  2. I don't know about the running shoes, some of those security guards are pretty mean! That wouldn't happen to be the Delta Fair you went to would it?

    1. Absolutely. Did you see me there arguing with the guess-your-weight guy?

  3. Instead of counting down the time you have left on the treadmill, count up the time you spend running :)



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