- “Welcome back, Lard-*ss.”
- “You’re at your ideal weight, assuming you’re eight foot six.”
- “I wasn’t sure you’d come back after I broke your spirit last go-round.”
- “There’s some cake on your cheek. No… I meant your butt cheek.”
- “You think standing on me naked is really gonna help? What…were you wearing a suit of armor before?”
- “Survey says: You’re fat!”
- “Look on the bright side: there’s more of you to love.”
- “You want a second opinion? Okay, you’re ugly.”
- “That shirt is very fattering… I mean flattering.”
- “I can give it to you in kilograms if it’ll make you feel better.”
- “Houston, we have a problem.”
- “You want some more of me?”
- “Thoreau said: ‘Make the most of your regrets; never smother your sorrow, but tend and cherish it till it comes to have a separate and integral interest.’ I say: “You just gained two pounds, sucka.”
“Get off! Get off! Get off!”- “Maybe you’re just retaining fat.”
- “They say any loss is a good loss. How’s about -.00001 lbs.?”
- “Here comes the pain!”
- “Round and round she goes, where she stops, nobody knows.”
- “When you lose, you take all the credit; when you gain, ya blame me!”
- “Looks like you’ve got Dunlap’s Disease. Your belly’s done lapped over your belt.”
- “Ummmmph!”
- “On the moon, you’d only weigh 43 pounds.”
- “Why don’t you try again… maybe it’ll be drastically lower.”
- “And you thought nobody saw you eat those chips…”
- “Good news: you’re still beating anorexia!”
- “Does this number make you look fat?”
- “Tippin’ is encouraged. Get it, get it? Tippin’ the scales… ah, you don’t know funny.”
- “Are you a glutton for punishment or just a regular glutton?”
- “For God’s sake–will you please put on some underwear?”
- “BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA….”
- “Let’s say we just call it two hundred and plenty?”
- “I’ve got an idea: today I’ll stand on you and call you a f*ckin’ b*tch.”
- “Say, are you losing weight?
