• House gets egged every Halloween because she gives kids tiny bags of kale chips.
• Activity for your birthday party is a 10K fun run.
• Instead of Tickle-Me-Elmo, she got you Yoga-Me-Grover.
• That jug of what you thought was delicious green Kool-Aid in the fridge wound up being disgusting wheatgrass juice.
• You’re so embarrassed at the playground when Mom does a dozen chin-ups on the swingset.
• Santa brought you a PlaySkool elliptical.
• You’d give your last hexbug for one crispy tator tot!
• Only Wii game she lets you play is one where you have to spin around in place as fast as you can for an hour.
• Plain freakin’ yogurt!
• Every time she runs out of stuff to write about, you gotta do something cute to save the day.
• McDonald’s? What the hell is McDonald’s?
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