• Use some combination of these words in the title of every post: “10 ways”, “Sex Life”, “Kardashian”, “My Most Shameful Secret”, “Cancer”, “Sexy Sex Sex” “Recipe”, “Celebrity Sex”, “Food Porn”, “S’more Casserole,” “Sex Tricks”, “Get Rich Quick” “Cutest Kitten Ever,” “Giveaway” and “Get More Readers for Your Stupid Blog.”
• Utilize SEO optimization by tagging each post with every word in the English language.
• Consider well-written and insightful content instead of that stuff that you usually do.
• Don’t talk down to your readers, dumbass!
• Save that calligraphy font for wedding invitations, pul-leaze!
• You’d be surprised at how many visitors a $10,000 cash giveaway will generate.
• Honor double coupons.
• Just make sure every post you write is the single greatest piece of writing ever written.
• Use questionable marketing tactics, such as tweeting “Click HERE to learn the SECRETS to getting more TRAFFIC to my BLOG: www.jackfit.blogspot.com GUARANTEED!”
• Try topless vlogging.
• Offer to grant three wishes to anyone who subscribes to your RSS feed (need to specify that there’s no wishing for more wishes).
