The Jack Sh*t Pom/Cheribundi Challenge

It was time for somebody to step up and make a once-and-for-all determination of which juice... POM Wonderful pomegranite or Cheribundi cherry juice is better. Strap in for the Jack Sh*t Pom/Cheribundi Challenge...

Let's start with POM. This cute little bottle contains 8 oz of 100% pomegranate juice. Of the 160 calories, 136 are from sugar. The 34 grams of sugar per serving amount to over 8 teaspoons! It does feature plenty of antioxidants, which makes it remarkably similar to every other type of fruit juice on the planet. But the bottle's cute!

Cherribundi is a completely different story. An 8-oz. bottle has 130 - 160 calories and 27 grams of sugar, but is high in antioxidants. Okay... so it's the same story pretty much. One version, "Whey Cherry" has more protein which they accomplished by adding a secret ingredient.*

*Protein

But which one is actually better? There's only one way to find out...

A double-blind taste test (I have a blindfold AND my eyes are closed).

Okay so there's a couple of problems with the "double-blind" test scenario...

But nothing an intelligent guy like me can't deal with.

Blindfolded, my other senses become hyper-sharp to compensate. For example, I can tell from listening that liquid is being poured into a glass.

Mmmmm... pomegranatey.



This one sounds similar, but slightly different.

This reminds me of that time I ate some cherries.


A little tarter than the POM... I mean, the first sample that I sampled.

You know what would be good with this one?

I'm a super-jenious!

I've just invented a brand new, never been discovered juice blend.

No, waitaminute... I've had this before...



Must test theory...

Holy sh*t! I was right... I invented wine.

I think I'm onto something with this mixing business though...

Perhaps a tiny amount of vodka...

Slurp.

Dayum!

Let's expand on this theory...

A smidge of POM...

A few drops of Cherribundi for tartness.

Okay, well now I've forgotten what I was doing here, so I guess I'll just declare this contest a draw and move on.


Full disclosure: POM and Cherribundi provided free samples of their products for "review" purposes. The Sky Vodka was provided for free via "shoplifting" and the Smirnoff was "borrowed" from my next-door neighbor whose house I'm "watching" this weekend.

POM’s Away

The fine folks at POM Wonderful keep sending me samples of their pomegranate juice no matter what awful things I say about it. I give up, POM. I celebrate your tart, high-calorie goodness. No longer will I ever refer to your product as "purple urine". In fact, you've got me feeling like a song...

I'm sorry POM Wonderful and Gap Band

I couldn’t believe it, when I received it.
You sent free juice to me.
Lo and behold, it was still cold.
That juice you sent to me.
Had to blog about it, baby.

You dropped some POM on me, baby.
You dropped some POM on me (kept it cold, baby).
You dropped some POM on me, baby.
You dropped some POM on me.

You like me enough, to send free stuff.
You dropped some POM on me.
Just take a drink, oh a slurp’ll do,
It'll make you think, man, I love this purple brew.

You dropped some POM on me, baby.
You dropped some POM on me (kept it cold, baby).
You dropped some POM on me, baby.
You dropped some POM on me.

You guys began it, with the pomegranate.
You made it delicious, you say it’s nutritious.
It’s real good juice, good with Grey Goose.
Tastes good to me, baby, but so high calorie.
You dropped some POM, hey, babe.

You dropped some POM on me, baby.
You dropped some POM on me (love free swag, baby).
You dropped some POM on me, baby.
You dropped some POM on me (just fill my bag, baby).

You dropped some POM on me, baby (Mmm).
You dropped some POM on me (you dropped the POM on me, baby).
You dropped some POM on me, baby.
You dropped some POM on me.

It’s makes good sense, those antioxidants.
You are the juice for me.
Tastes good with Sprite, the price was right.
You are the juice for me.
Can you send me some more, baby?

Drop more POM on me, baby.
Come drop some POM on me (Whoa...whoa...oh...oh...baby).
Drop more POM on me, baby….
You dropped some POM on me (I wont forget what you done to me, babe)

You dropped some POM on me, baby
You dropped some POM on me
You dropped some POM on me, baby
You dropped some POM on me

I-I-I
I-I-I was glad to get it
I-I-I
I-I-I wont forget it

You dropped some POM on me, baby
Thanks for dropping POM on me
You dropped some POM on me, baby
Whoops, I got some POM on me.

I-I-I
I-I-I wont forget it
I-I-I
So-so-so glad to get it.

Pomegranate Juice, the World’s Most Perfect Weight Loss Drink

When some nice lady at POM Wonderful offered to send me–for free—some pomegranate juice and assorted pomma-propaganda about its “so-called” health benefits, I was a wee bit skeptical.

I don’t intend to use this space as a means for companies to promote their various goods and services. I don’t want any apparel companies sending me any shirts (XXL) or running shoes (size 13). Don’t send me your fancy Wii games or exotic snack products (email me for address)… and expect a glowing review. Don’t be influenced by the fact that the POM Wonderful people sent me some samples and I concluded, without any undue influence from them, that pomegranate juice is the world’s most perfect weight loss drink.

Besides its awe-inspiring nutritional benefits, here’re some of my other findings…

• Often referred to as “Nature’s Viagra.”
• Pretty sure that it gives drinker array of super powers.
• World’s oldest woman Emma St. Clair Augustyn credits her longevity to drinking gin & Pom every afternoon.
• Turns bad cholesterol into magically wonderful cholesterol.
• Is purple, God’s favorite color.
• Ever since I started drinking it last week, haven’t had a single cavity.
• Creates inner glow that makes hair shinier and tattoos more vibrant.
• Cheaper, per ounce, than liquid diamonds.
• When mixed with Red Bull, gives user “energy boost.”
• When mixed with Jägermeister, gives user “intoxication boost.”
• Cleopatra drank it and she was a stone cold fox.
• Cures “thirsty mouth.”
• Bottle doubles as sex toy.
• If you spill it, can quickly obscure the clinical research highlights and physician references that the POM Wonderful people might have sent you.

Remember, Jack Sh*t, Gettin’ Fit is not for sale; however, attractive leasing rates are available. Operators are standing by.