Healthy back-to-school strategies

• When you get up in the morning, don’t forget to pack a sensible lunch the night before.

• Plan routes between classes that are exactly 5 kilometers, because there’s something magical about running 5K for some reason or another.

• Running up the giant slide on the playground burns considerably more calories than simply sliding down it.

• Easy weight loss tip: locate a bully interested in stealing your lunch money.

• Sit in the back of the room and, every time teacher’s head is turned, sneak in as many jumping jacks as you’re able.

• Take THEORIES OF ADVANCED ASTROPHYSICS; have you seen how heavy that textbook is? Quite a workout!

• Instead of ignoring your homework to binge-watch Game of Thrones, try ignoring your homework to go for a walk around the block.

• Write “I WILL NOT START A FIRE IN THE TRASH CAN AND COOK S’MORES DURING CLASS” one thousand times.