• Forgot where my
gym is located
• Gravity extra strong on weigh-in day
• Breaking in a new scale
• Letting my hair grow out
• Weight Watchers conspiracy
• Friends let me down
• Wearing my Kevlar underwear
• Bad voodoo
• Too heavy for treadmill to move
• Drank too much gravy
• Obama and his Socialistic agenda
• Didn’t know they’d be serving wedding cake at the wedding
• The regrettable marshmallow incident
• Spider got in my gym bag
• Stumbled into a charity fish fry
• Sleep-snacking
• Amnesia made me forget about diet
• Accidentally locked self in snack closet
• Coworker brought in brownies and I didn’t want to hurt her feelings
• Listened to a lot of music that made me hungry
• Misplaced my muzzle
• Actually lied about my weight last week
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