I’m Sorry, Snoop Dogg

With so much drama in the b-l-o-g,

It's kinda hard bein’ Jack S-h-*-t.
But I, somehow, some way

Keep comin’ up with funky diet tips like every single day.
May I kick a little something for the ol’ fat Ts,
And, make a few jokes as I breeze through.
Two in the mornin’ and my blog’s unwritten
'Cause my three kids ain’t home,
Me and Anita in the living room gettin’ it on.
Don’t gotta be at work ‘til eight in the mornin’.
So what am I gonna do, sheeeit
I got a notebook full of ideas and a poem or two.
So fire up the laptop and close the doors.
Gotta get myself back to them weight-loss wars, yeah!
So I open a document and blow a kiss
And hope I get a good blog post outta this.

Rollin ‘round the net, makin’ wordplay, tappin’ my creative juices.
Losin’ weight [with my mind on my bloggin’ and my bloggin’ on my mind]
Rollin ‘round the net, makin’ wordplay, tappin’ my creative juices.
Losin’ weight [with my mind on my bloggin’ and my bloggin’ on my mind]

Now, I got me some Bigelow green tea,
And put on my “Best of ABBA” CD.
Get out that laptop, sit in my favorite chair.
Gonna start soon as I finish a game of solitaire.
Every subject I ponder just hits a dead end.
I’m suffering from a lil’ writer’s block, girlfriend.
Keep bangin’ my head, now I’m getting’ pissed.
Can’t even fart out another silly list.
Yeah, this cold snap is making me feel extra meek,
Looks like I’m gonna mess up my six-month streak.
But you think I’m gonna gain weight? Bitch please!
Gimme a cheese sammich, hold the bread and hold the cheese.
I’m more committed to my journey than Thelma and Louise.
Sh*t, I’m just…

Rollin ‘round the net, makin’ wordplay, tappin’ my creative juices.
Losin’ weight [with my mind on my bloggin’ and my bloggin’ on my mind]
Rollin ‘round the net, makin’ wordplay, tappin’ my creative juices.
Losin’ weight [with my mind on my bloggin’ and my bloggin’ on my mind]

Later on that day
My homey Dr. Geoff comes over and we watch “Top Chef”
By ourselves, drink some produce juice that makes me choke
Sh*t, this ain’t no joke.
Tried another swallow but I finally had to quit.
Carrot juice cocktail made me throw up just a bit.
But there ain’t no stoppin, I gotta get bloggin’.
Throw Geoff out cuz it’s time to get rockin’.
I’m at my desk, just bouncin’ along merrily.
Knock out a super-quick Snoop Dogg parody.
Got it done, girl, that’s just how it goes.
Hittin’ those lows, and going shopping for new clothes.
And I’ll be…

Rollin ‘round the net, makin wordplay, tappin my creative juices.
Losin’ weight [with my mind on my bloggin’ and my bloggin’ on my mind]
Rollin ‘round the net, makin wordplay, tappin my creative juices.
Losin’ weight [with my mind on my bloggin’ and my bloggin’ on my mind]

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