Stella Virgin

 From THE KING COLLECTED COLLECTION, a parody of the first chapter of (nearly) every Stephen King novel that I'm currently wrapping up.

Solid Gold

 

From THE KING COLLECTED COLLECTION, the project I'm currently working on.
It's a parody of the first chapter of (nearly) every Stephen King novel. 

Nom Nom Nom

Cannibal wasn’t his real name, of course. Everyone just called him that because… come to think of it, Wayne wasn’t sure why everyone called him Cannibal. Before he could think to ask him, the shop proprietor had gone back inside.

“Say, Cannibal. I’m just curious… why do people...”

“I was just enjoying a little lunch,” said Cannibal, gnawing on a bone. “Want a rib?”

“Ummmm,” stammered Wayne. “Beef or pork?”

“Say, Wayne,” said Cannibal, quickly changing the subject. “I was sorry to hear about what happened with your wife. I’d love to have you over for dinner sometime if you’re up for it.”

“Have me for dinner?”

“Sure,” smiled Cannibal, licking his lips. “We’ll grill out on the big pit out back. You’ll be delicious.”

“Excuse me?”

“I said it’ll be delicious.” 

From the project I'm currently working on, THE KING COLLECTED COLLECTION, a parody of the first chapter of (nearly) every Stephen King novel. 

Another Sexy Snippet

 

Brace Face

 

From All the Best Faces Wear Braces, a fun kids' book I wrote last year.

Sexy snippet of the day

 

From THE KING COLLECTED COLLECTION, a parody of the first chapter of (nearly) every Stephen King novel, that I'm currently working on.

That Girl

From the project I'm currently trying to get published called THE COLLEEN COLLECTED COLLECTION, a parody of the first chapter of every single Colleen Hoover novel...
 

All the Best Faces Wear Braces

 

From specialty children's book I wrote last year called All the Best Faces Wear Braces.

Stupid Shankshaw Snippet

 

From the project I'm currently working on THE KING COLLECTED COLLECTION, a parody of the 1st chapter of (nearly) every Stephen King novel. 

Another Stupid Snippet

 

From my current work in progress, THE KING COLLECTED COLLECTION. It's a parody of the first chapter of (nearly) every Stephen King novel and the reason you hear laughter outside my office while I'm working every morning. 

November 32nd

 Another excerpt from THE COLLEEN COLLECTED COLLECTION, my parody of every Colleen Hoover novel that I'm currently seeking a literary agent dumb enough to take on.

Stupid Snippet of the Day

 From THE COLLEEN COLLECTED COLLECTION, my parody of the first chapter of every Colleen Hoover novel. Yes, it's a dumb idea, BUT ALL MY IDEAS ARE DUMB IDEAS!

Slapped

 Excerpt from THE COLLEEN COLLECTED COLLECTION, a parody of the first chapter of every single Colleen Hoover novel.