I’m Sorry, Eminem

Hi! My name is.. (what?) My name is.. (who?)
My name is.. [chicachica] Slim Sh*tty.
Hi! My name is.. (huh?) My name is.. (what?)
My name is.. [chicachica] Slim Sh*tty.

Ahem.. excuse me!
Can you please put down that bagel for one second?

Hi kids! Do you like parodies?
Wanna see me take weight loss and Eminem and marry these?
Wanna copy me and do exactly like I did?
Get rid of yo fatted-up ass? Stick with me, kid.
You can drop this weight, get your life and head straight,
But you gotta figure out how to spice up this fat life you hate.
And Dr. Geoff said, “Slim Sh*tty you just aced it.”
Uh-uhhh! “You made it happen, man. You didn’t waste it!”

Well, since this spring, I've felt like I'm someone else.
No longer my original self, the big-ass with the too-small belt.
Finally got pissed off enough to work my man-tits off.
Put on my swim clothes and stroked it like Hasselhoff.
I eat a half-pound of wheat grass and work my ass.
Do I really want this? Hey, does the Pope pass gas?

C'mere, chub! (Sh*tty, wait a minute, that's mean, dawg!)
I don't give a f*ck, God wants me to get this weight off!

Hi! My name is.. (what?) My name is.. (who?)
My name is.. [chicachica] Slim Sh*tty
Hi! My name is.. (huh?) My name is.. (what?)
My name is.. [chicachica] Slim Sh*tty
Hi! My name is.. (what?) My name is.. (who?)
My name is.. [chicachica] Slim Sh*tty
Hi! My name is.. (huh?) My name is.. (what?)
My name is.. [chicachica] Slim Sh*tty

You tell me I’m done, but you just don’t understand.
Me? I’m planning my Spring Break trip to Onederland.
Yeah, I still wanna lose the most, sir. Clothes get a lil looser
Before I get off this weight-loss roller coaster (Wheeeeeeeee!)
Walk into Eddie Bauer, try on pants for half an hour,
Show my wife Anita all my new clothes and wow her.
It’s unbelievable, virtually inconceivable.
If I can do this, I tell ya, anything’s achievable.
Ninety-nine percent of my life I was too wide, too.
But now nobody wants good health more than I do.

Now my goal’s to be a fit and famous blogger.
Maybe even run a 5K one day…yeah, I’ll be a jogger.
And this blog’ll blow up and attract even more followers,
And we’ll try to turn around a few more donut swallowers.
So I’ll keep bringin’ it, keep trying to raise the roof, ya’ll
You do your part and support your favorite fitness goofball.

Hi! My name is.. (what?) My name is.. (who?)
My name is.. [chicachica] Slim Sh*tty
Hi! My name is.. (huh?) My name is.. (what?)
My name is.. [chicachica] Slim Sh*tty.
Hi! My name is.. (what?) My name is.. (who?)
My name is.. [chicachica] Slim Sh*tty.
Hi! My name is.. (huh?) My name is.. (what?)
My name is.. [chicachica] Slim Sh*tty.

Stop the tape! Fat kid needs the snacks locked away!
Dr. Geoff, don't just email me, COOPERATE!
Not ready to start yet, is it too scary to diet?
Haven’t got much to say, but I’m too noisy to stay quiet.
Give folks advice? Hell, yeah–I’ll try it.
Feel like you're flounderin’, seem like you’re strayin’?
No clue at all on your next weigh-in?
It’s time to get serious, if you know what I’m sayin’
I’m screamin’ at you like Glenn Beck at Obama.
You don’t like me yellin’ but somebody’s gotta stop the drama.
I may use laughter, too, but I’m gonna stay after you.
We’re gonna get you fit. And if you think I’m gonna quit,
YOU DON’T KNOW JACK SH*T!
I lay awake and write blog posts in my head,
Hoping you get something outta the words I’ve said.
I'm steaming mad (Arrrggghhh!)
And by the way, when you see my dad, Horace?
Tell him I’m the one that backed into his Ford Taurus.

Hi! My name is.. (what?) My name is.. (who?)
My name is.. [chicachica] Slim Sh*tty
Hi! My name is.. (huh?) My name is.. (what?)
My name is.. [chicachica] Slim Sh*tty.
Hi! My name is.. (what?) My name is.. (who?)
My name is.. [chicachica] Slim Sh*tty.

x