I seem to have a love/hate relationship with my scale. Some weeks she's my BFF; other weeks she's an SOB. Come to think of it, that's the same relationship I have with just about everybody...Here's some of the sh*t I either lovingly croon or crudely bark at my scale when I weight in...
- “Good morning, b*tchface.”
- “THAT’s what I’m TALKIN’ about!”
- “You have got to be sh*ttin’ me.”
- “Who’s your daddy?”
- “F*ck a duck!”
- “Wild Thing, I think I love you…”
- “Kiss my fat *ss!”
- “You’ve just made me the happiest man in the whole wide world.”
- “Oh, you f*ckin’ wh*re!”
- “You are my Lovey Baby Bubby Boo. Yes you are…”
- “Rat b*stard!”
- “You're my love monkey!”
- “I can't believe you just did that to me, f*cktard!”
- “I can't believe you just did that to me, beautiful!”
- “Sh*t on a stick!”
- “I’m King of the World!”
- “What the f*ck?”
- “I’ve got sunshine…on a cloudy day… when it’s cold outside…”
- “Dingleberries!”
