Greeting Cards for the Calorically Challenged

• Get thin soon
• Thinking of you… and bacon
• I'll love you forever, with all of my heart. But I call dibs on the last Pop-Tart.
• Happy Easter and sorry I bit the head off your chocolate bunny
• Wishing you the gift of everlasting frosting
• A day without you is like a day without chocolate
• Happy Burpday!
• A baby is one of God's most precious gifts, second only to nachos
• Merry Christmas to all and to all a good bite
• My arteries are packed with love for you
• Happy Nutella Year!
• Deepest sympathy on your recent weigh-in
• You take the cake! (seriously, where’d you put the cake?)
• Our love will last forever but “Endless Shrimp” at Red Lobster is over soon… grab your coat
• Here’s to the true meaning of Christmas: a stocking full of candy!
• Happy Hamiversary!
• I hope that you can forgive me, but I didn’t know that was your wedding cake in the freezer.
• It’s a brand new binge-ginning!
• Sorry I missed your birthday, but I was trying that crazy new sandwich at KFC