Shame to waste all my “fat” pants- 25-lb. bags of potato chips at Costco make unhealthy lifestyle extremely affordable
- Time spent weight loss blogging could easily be filled with TV watching
- Less sweaty gym clothes = less laundry
- Might miss out on playing Santa Claus at holiday parties
- Easier to maintain casual friendships with all those fast food drive-thru workers
- Don’t have to answer that embarrassing “Are you losing weight?” question
- Good excuse to wear sweatpants in public
- Don’t have to worry about a lot of leftovers cluttering up fridge
- Get more for your money at “all-you-can-eat” buffet
- Answer to all life’s problems? Gravy
- Have kick-*ss health insurance to deal with any weight-related problems
- Have gotten good at punching new holes in belt with screwdriver
- Guy that owns the local Ben & Jerry’s franchise really wants me back
I dunno. I make a pretty compelling argument, but I think I’m gonna stick with the plan.
