IM Over You, Beer

(6:47:36 PM) Beer: what’s your danm problum?
(6:59:35 PM) JackSh*t: pls leave me alone
(6:59:51 PM) Beer: what r u doin 2nite?
(7:01:06 PM) JackSh*t: not hanging out with you
(7:02:08 PM) Beer: u used 2 like hanging out wit me
(7:08:10 PM) JackSh*t: I used to melt cheese on corn chips, too
(7:08:36 PM) Beer: I’d be good with that, wouldn’t i?
(7:08:41 PM) JackSh*t: I’m trying to get some work done
(7:08:53 PM) Beer: u kno what else I’m good with? pissa!
(7:09:21 PM) JackSh*t: Pisa?
(7:10:20 PM) Beer: Pissa
(7:10:22 PM) Beer: u know… pissa!
(7:10:24 PM) JackSh*t: Pisa?
(7:10:29 PM) Beer: u know… like paparoni pissa
(7:10:51 PM) JackSh*t: you’re a moron
(7:10:58 PM) Beer: your more a mornon that I R
(7:11:09 PM) JackSh*t: Don’t you have a frat party to go to?
(7:11:13 PM) Beer: PARTAY! PARTAY!
(7:11:14 PM) Beer: We used 2 be BBFs
(7:11:18 PM) JackSh*t: BBFs?
(7:11:23 PM Beer: Best beer friends
(7:11:36 PM) JackSh*t: It’s over
(7:11:38 PM) Beer: That’s the sobriety talking, dude
(7:11:55 PM) Beer: let’s get ripped, juz 4 old tims sake
(7:13:30 PM) JackSh*t: Who’s Old Tim?
(7:13:48 PM) Beer: not funny
(7:13:52 PM) Beer: u r funnier after u have had a few
(7:13:55 PM) Beer: c’mon… just 1 or 2
(7:13:59 PM) Beer: pleez
(7:14:28 PM) JackSh*t: Sorry… I’m having some green tea.
(7:14:39 PM) Beer: I dont even know u anymore
(7:14:43 PM) JackSh*t: Look at this: moderate drinking (2-3 drinks) can result in depleted aerobic capacity and negative impact on endurance for up to 48 hours after the last drink has been consumed
(7:14:45 PM) Beer: that is stopid
(7:14:58 PM) JackSh*t: no, what’s “stopid” is consuming a lot of empty calories
(7:15:13 PM) Beer: empty “fun” calories, u have 2 admit
(7:15:45 PM) JackSh*t: seriously, I’ve got some work to do tonight
(7:15:57 PM) Beer: you know what would help you think?
(7:16:00 PM) Beer: a cold frosty 1
(7:17:34 PM) JackSh*t: I think I’m gonna stick with this yogurt
(7:17:46 PM) Beer: yogurt? gaaaah!
(7:17:49 PM) Beer: I just threw up in my own bottle
(7:19:41 PM) JackSh*t: Do you think I want that beer belly back?
(7:19:56 PM) Beer: chicks dig da beer belly
(7:20:56 PM) JackSh*t: I can’t believe we used to hang out together every night
(7:21:01 PM) JackSh*t: I was such an idiot
(7:21:12 PM) Beer: and u can b an idiot again
(7:21:46 PM) JackSh*t: Look, I’m just really trying to be more healthy, okay?
(7:22:09 PM) Beer: that iz the dumbist thing I have ever hurd
(7:23:27 PM) JackSh*t: It’s not you; it’s me.
(7:24:01 PM) Beer: of course its you… im awsome
(7:25:07 PM) JackSh*t: damn
(7:25:30 PM) Beer: what?
(7:25:41 PM) Beer: whats da matter?
(7:25:43 PM) JackSh*t: Getting another message
(7:25:49 PM) Beer: who iz it?
(7:33:44 PM) JackSh*t: this idiot dude keeps bugging me, but I don’t want anything to do with him
(7:34:00 PM) JackSh*t: what should I do?
(7:43:56 PM) Beer: make up sum excuse, like ur mom is kickin u off or sumthing
(7:44:23 PM) JackSh*t: good idea
(7:44:29 PM) Beer: Me am full of good idears.
(7:44:48 PM) JackSh*t: hey… i have to go
(7:44:58 PM) Beer: why 4?
(7:45:10 PM) JackSh*t: my mom is kicking me off
(7:45:17 PM) JackSh*t: bye
(7:45:58 PM) Beer: come back l8ter, ok?