You, My Friend, Are Chickensh*t

...if you don't sign up for my inaugural weight loss challenge: Jack Sh*t’s Kick-Ass Half-Ass Half-A-Pound Challenge. We've already got a couple dozen folks who believe they have what it takes to lose one half pound over the next seven days. I'm still trying to get an even 1,000,000 participants, so hop on board the JSKAHAHAPC Express.

Remember:

1. All successful participants in this one-week adventure will have their names forever emblazoned onto the Jack Sh*t’s Kick-Ass Half-Ass Half-A-Pound Challenge Commemorative Poem.
2. A half-pound loss will put you one-half-pound closer to your overall weight-loss goal.
   

Email me your name, the name of your blog (if you have one) and your official weigh-in start weight before (or around) midnight tonight (or slightly after if you include a good, humorous excuse). No weights will be revealed to the general public (just to my co-workers at the office). Send your entries to JackSh.tGettinFit(AT)gmail(DOT)com.

This is your last chance to get in on the easiest, most rewarding weight loss challenge of the summer. The new half-pound-lighter you will thank you for it.

A Challenge to Get Jacked Up About

You know how I am.

When I see people with something on their blog that I don’t have… well, I get sh*tty.

Then I get whatever it is that they have that I don’t have.

Lately, I’ve been seeing folks throwing down the weight loss gauntlet to all their readers. It’s all weight loss challenge this, weight loss challenge that. It was just too much to bear.

So you are cordially invited to take part in my inaugural weight loss challenge: Jack Sh*t’s Kick-Ass Half-Ass Half-A-Pound Challenge. All participants will have one week in order to lose one-half pound.

I’m all about positive reinforcement, so I didn’t want to set the bar too high. I figured a half-pound loss would be a do-able achievement over seven days. What if you lose more than the half-pound? Whoop de doo, you’re awesome… but for this challenge, it won’t win you any fat-free brownie points. Super over-achievers, go find yourself another more challenging weight loss challenge.

Why should you participate, you ask? Two reasons.

1. All successful participants in this one-week adventure will have their names forever emblazoned onto the Jack Sh*t’s Kick-Ass Half-Ass Half-A-Pound Challenge Commemorative Poem.
2. I hate to say it, but you could really stand to lose another half a pound.

In order to be eligible for this program, you must email me your name, the name of your blog (if you have one) and your official weigh-in start weight before (or around) midnight tomorrow (or slightly after if you live someplace weird like Liverpool or Australia or Cleveland). Send your entries to JackSh.tGettinFit(AT)gmail(DOT)com.

If you are participating, you may proudly display the snazzy JSKAHAHAPC emblem on your own blog or web site denoting your pride and participation. You may also invite your own readers to come join the challenge, but please keep in mind that I have to work in every winner’s name into the commemorative poem and I’m a pretty lazy son-of-a-b*tch, so don't make it sound too extra-fantastic.

In seven days, I will demand your current weigh-in information (there’s a chance I may show up at your home to verify weigh-in information, so no cheating!), and those participants whose half-ass efforts have resulted in a kick-ass half-pound loss will join me (am I participating? Oh, hell yeah!) in the loser’s circle.

Are you up to the challenge?