Ground Control to Major Jack

Weight Control to Major Jack. 

Weight Control to Major Jack. 

Take your protein pills and put that donut down. 

(Ten) Weight Control (Nine) to Major Jack (Eight) 

(Seven, six) Commencing countdown (Five), welcome back (Four) 

(Three, two) Check your appetite (One) and may the scale (Blastoff) be kind to you...

This is Weight Control to Major Jack, 
You really have been slack.

And your viewers want to know what size shirt you wear.

Now it’s time to lose some more weight if you dare… 

This is Major Jack to Weight Control, 
I’m exercising more,

But I just endured a most peculiar weigh…

I gained one and three-quarters of a pound today. 


Here…
Am I sitting at a plateau,
Far above goal weight.
Everything tastes great and there’s nothing I ain’t ate.



Though I still have so many pounds to go, 

I’m feeling a nice glow.
And I think my spaceship’s finally going down.

Tell my wife I love her, and that I lost a pound. 

Weight Control to Major Jack, 
You’re in a groove, you’re back on track.

You can do it, Major Jack. 
You can do it, Major Jack.
You can do it, Major Jack.
You can… 
 

Here am I standing on the damn scale.
Far above goal weight.
Fat is not my fate, and today I’m feeling great.