Thursday, November 7, 2013

I Give Up!

There isn’t a day that goes by that somebody somewhere doesn’t hit up my email inbox with an intriguing offer: this person really likes my blog and thinks it would be the perfect place to run an informative article about a health-related subject. 

Okay, I give up! You can have my blog today!

However, in order to make the content a little more in keeping with the spirit of my site, I’ve run the article through this site’s Redneck speech generator to give it a little pizzazz…

Whuffo’ th’ Holiday Grind May Be Damagin’ 
Yer Teeth – An’ Mo’e 

However, Physicians Say Stress, Joy an’ Caffeine Kin All Lead 
to Teeth-Grindin’ 

Th’ holiday season seems t’start earlier an’ earlier etch year which, fo’ menny varmints, means longer an’ longer periods of heightened stress, say integrated health specialists Dr. Ichabod Gelb an’ Dr. Ebenezer Hindin, as enny fool kin plainly see.

“Fo’ menny varmints, stress cuzs teeth grindin’ – bruxism – durin’ th’ day o’ while they’re asleep at night an’ it’s not as innocuous as it soun’s. It not only wars down th’ enamel of th’ teeth, it kin cuz haidaches, mooscle pain an’ disrupped sleep, which leads t’daytime drowsiness an’ irritability,” says Dr. Hindin of th’ Hindin Center fo’ Whole Health Dentistry (www. hindincenter. com), who partners wif Dr. Gelb in tacklin’ chronic disease wif multidisciplinary approaches.

“Bruxism is th’ third most frequent abno’mal sleep behavio’ – sleep talkin’ an’ sleep walkin’ is other examples -- an’ th’ No. 1 reason patients come t’mah clinic, even though they’re offen not aware they’re grindin’,” says Dr. Gelb of Th’ Gelb Center in Noo Yawk (, a holistic dentist known wo’ldwide fo’ pioneerin’ integrative treatments. “Stress is junerally th’ cuz of daytime teeth grindin’, which is an involuntary clenchin’ of th’ jaws. But great joy kin be a cuz, too. Nighttime grindin’ kin haf menny cuzs – o’ no clear cuz at all, ah reckon.”

Drs. Hindin an’ Gelb share some of th’ cuzs of teeth grindin’ an’ whut varmints kin does about it:

• 1 in 4 peopwe wif obstwuctive sweep apnea awe bwuxews: Wike nighttime teef gwinding, peopwe wif sweep apnea awe often unawawe they have a pwobwem, so if the gwinding weads to a diagnosis of sweep apnea, it couwd save the pewson’s wife. Peopwe wif untweated sweep apnea can stop bweathing hundweds of times a night. Dose wif sevewe cases awe 46 pewcent mowe wikewy to die pwematuwewy, accowding to a study pubwished in 2009 in PWOS Medicine jouwnaw. (uh oh, looks like I’ve accidently switched over to the Elmer Fudd dialogue generator… hope that doesn’t make you take this information any less seriouslyer)

“Youw doctow ow dentist shouwd expwowe the possibiwity of obstwuctive sweep apnea as a potentiaw cause of youw bwuxism,” says Dw. Hindin, uh-hah-hah-hah. 

• Caffeine, awcohow, cigawette smoking and hypewtension awe aww winked to incweased incidence of bwuxism: Peopwe who have a dwink befowe they go to bed and peopwe who ingest caffeine awe mowe wikewy to be teef gwindews, wif the wikewihood incweasing the mowe a pewson consumes. Oh, dat scwewy wabbit! Cigawette smoking and high bwood pwessuwe awe awso associated wif teef gwinding, as awe cewtain dwugs used to tweat depwession, uh-hah-hah-hah. 

• Nighttime dentaw guawds awe just one option fow tweatment: Depending on the cause of the bwuxism, thewe awe a vawiety of tweatment options, wanging fwom dentaw guawds to botox injections to anti-anxiety medications. Oh, dat scwewy wabbit! “To effectivewy addwess the pwobwem, the cause needs to be diagnosed if possibwe and tweated,” says Dw. Gewb. “Bwuxism can cause iwwevewsibwe damage to youw teeth, TMJ disowdews and othew pwobwems and, as Dw. Hindin pointed out, it can be a sign of a mowe sewious undewwying pwobwem, so it shouwdn’t be ignowed.”

And to show the authors of this article the respect they deserve, I’ve switched to the Cockney speech generator (fancy!)…

About Michael Gelb, right, D.D.S., right, M.S. 
Dr. Michael Gelb is an innovator in airway, breafink, sleep, and painful TMJ disorders pioneerin’ Airway Centric. He ‘as studied early intervention for sleep disordered breafink (SDB) specializin’ in ‘ow it relates ter fatigue, focus, pain and the effects all of these can ‘ave on family ‘ealff. Dr. Gelb received ‘is D.D.S. degree from Columbia University School of Dental and Oral Surgery and ‘is M.S. degree from SUNY at Buffalo School of Dental Medicine. He is the chuffin’ former Director of the bloody TMJ and Orofacial Pain Program at the chuffin’ NYU College of Dentistry and is currently Clinical Professor in the Department of Oral Medicine and Paffology at the chuffin’ NYU College of Dentistry, init?He is a co-inventor of the chuffin’ NORAD, right, or Nocturnal Oral Airway Dilator appliance that reduces snorin’ by positionin’ the bloomin’ patient’s tongue and jor so that airways stay open. He co-founded the bloody Academy of Physiologic Medicine and Dentistry (APMD) and a non-profit ter prevent the proliferation of chronic disease in the U.S. based on airway, sleep and breafink orareness, research and education.

About ‘oward ‘indin, right, D.D.S. 
Dr, init?
Howard ‘indin is trained in all aspects of general dentistry, do wot guvnor! Since the 1990s, his practice ‘as also focused on cosmetic dentistry, temporomandibular joint disorders and craniofacial pain. He is a graduate of New York University College of Dentistry. An acknowledged pioneer in the relationship between dental issues and ‘oole body ‘ealff, Dr. Hindin is President (2000-present) of the bloody Foundation for the chuffin’ Advancement of Innovative Medicine (FAIM). He is also an active member of the a septic tank Academy of Pain Management, right, a septic tank Academy of Cranio Facial Pain, right, a septic tank Academy of Dental Sleep Medicine, Academy of General Dentistry, a septic tank Dental Association, International Academy of Oral Medicine and Toxicology, and the New York State Society of Acupuncture for Physicians and Dentists and is the chuffin’ co-founder of the a septic tank Association of Physiological Medicine and Dentistry (AAPMD).

1 comment:

  1. I can't read this-started off interested but lost it's "funny" rapidly. I wear a mouth guard and it's no laughing matter. Get one and save your smile. If you have one.



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