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Lately, I’ve been spending more on wine than on my mortgage.
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Little old lady at the gym asked to use barbells when I was done with them.
• My
latest weight-loss manifesto included eleven references to Pop-Tarts.
• I
ran a half- half- half- half- half- half- half-marathon.
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Instead of using scale, have started “guesstimating” my weight.
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Replaced 100 nightly sit-ups with trying to stuff 100 Oreo’s in mouth at one
time.
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I’ve worn out my Lazy-Boy recliner.
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Last month, watched entire Netflix library.
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Yesterday, I counted watching a Bowflex commercial as my daily workout.
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Thought I was eating fat-free Greek yogurt, but turns out it was Ben &
Jerry’s Chubby Hubby.
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Starting driving down to end of driveway to get the morning paper.
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Daily journal just reads: “Blah blah blah blah blah.”
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Counted can of vanilla frosting as a serving of fruit.
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I’m bench-pressing same amount as my friend One-Armed Johnny.
HAHHAHAHAHHA...chubby hubby...
ReplyDeleteThis is hilarious. And oddly familiar.
lololololol...blah blah blah...I can relate.
ReplyDeleteVanilla frosting is totally a fruit!
ReplyDeleteSCARY!!
ReplyDeleteHmm! Maybe I should forget the before and after pictures of me and just do a monthly wear and tear picture of my Lazy-Boy!
ReplyDeleteAre you saying vanilla is not really a fruit? Uh oh.
ReplyDelete