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Thursday, December 10, 2015

BAD. BADDER. WORSTEST.

BAD: You sample one of the Christmas cookies you’re baking.
BADDER: You wolf down all the cookies that don’t come out perfect.
WORSTEST: You sit in the kitchen floor and eat an entire bowl of batter.


BAD: You’ve succumbed to a peppermint bark addiction.
BADDER: While in line at Starbucks to get Peppermint Mocha Latte, you’re plotting route on your phone to the next closest Starbucks to get another Peppermint Mocha Latte.
WORSTEST: Doc informs you that your blood type is “O positively peppermint”.

  
BAD: You’ve drunk your weight in eggnog.
BADDER: You’ve thrown out all other food in your fridge so that you can keep more eggnog on hand.
WORSTEST: CNN does story about worldwide eggnog shortage and your name comes up repeatedly.
 
BAD: You had to poke a new hole in your belt.
BADDER: You wear sweatpants to Christmas Mass.
WORSTEST: You had to let out your Santa Claus costume.


BAD: You’ve got Advent calendar with Hershey kiss for each day in December.
BADDER: You’ve got Advent calendar with chocolate chip cookie for each day in December.
WORSTEST: You’ve got Advent calendar with cheeseball for each day in December.


BAD: You can’t stand up to watch entire holiday parade.
BADDER: Other carolers point out that your mouth is full of taffy.
WORSTEST: You go for sleigh ride and two horses keel over dead.


BAD: You popped a button.
BADDER: You ripped your pants.
WORSTEST: You broke Santa’s lap.

BAD:  You ate half a fruitcake.
BADDER: You chugged a quart of boiled custard.
WORSTEST: You ate the cookies your children left out for Santa… while they watched.

BAD: Pants are entirely too tight.
BADDER: You’ve had to cut the necks out of all your turtleneck sweaters.
WORSTEST: You can’t find a shawl that fits.


BAD: You’ve decided to put off your healthy living quest until the new year.
BADDER: Gym is so busy in January that you’ve decided to wait until it clears out some.
WORSTEST: Decided that 2016 can just go to hell. 


2 comments:

  1. I hope that someone used their shame spoon to eat that bowl of batter! Thanks for the Christmas chuckles!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Worstest is totally the most fun on that first one! Can't wait to start holiday baking in a week or two!

    ReplyDelete