• You can make ice cream healthier by eating something
different instead.
• A registered dietician can
assist you in designing a nutritional plan you’ll find months later and have a
good laugh about.
• A really easy way to eat
healthier is to hire a personal shopper to purchase all your groceries and a
personal chef to prepare all your meals.
• One way to make yourself
drink more water is to set off a pack of firecrackers in your mouth.
• There’s one simple way to
tell if your portion size is too big: it’s always too
big.
• Eating at home instead of
going out will help in your weight loss efforts, mostly because of what a bad
cook you are.
• Remember this
rhyme: “Cupcakes for dinner will never make you thinner.”
• You can make your own frozen fruit by putting fruit in the
freezer, dumbass.
• Sex can burn over 10,000
calories per hour (please back me up on this "fact" if my wife Anita
asks...)
• There’s one simple way to tell if your portion size is too big: it’s always too big.
ReplyDeleteOK, Jack, I want you to stop peeking in my windows RIGHT NOW
When comments are funnier than the blog post, it's time to shut this mutha down...
DeleteEating at home gives you control over food intake. It's possible to have control even when eating out,provided you know exactly what you're going to order and its caloric value.
ReplyDeleteBut where's the fun in that?
DeleteYou are my favorite health and fitness guru.
ReplyDeleteI always heard if you the ice cream is part of an ice cream soda made with Diet Root Beer, then the calories are cancelled out. What say you, Jack?
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ReplyDelete