Bye Bye, Landline

After over fifty years on this earth, I no longer have a landline in my home.

Goodbye, telemarketers calling during dinner.

Goodbye, college that I paid too much money to calling and begging for money.

Goodbye, nice young lady who just wants a few minutes of my time to answer a survey.

Goodbye, foreign-sounding guy who can save me a ton on my credit card bills but needs my credit number before doing so.

Goodbye, cordless phone receivers that hide throughout my house.

Goodbye, cordless phone receivers that, when I do find them, have no charge left.

Goodbye, vintage black rotary-dial kitchen phone that gives you a finger blister if you try to make a long-distance call.

Goodbye, wrong numbers that hang up without apologizing.

Goodbye, noxious political robo-calls.

Goodbye, ability to satisfyingly slam down the receiver in a huff.

Goodbye, annoying ring that disturbs my naps and shortens my showers.

Goodbye, unknown callers who forever remain unknown.

Goodbye, answering machine that we turned off over a year ago.

Goodbye, last phone number I will ever know by heart.