Make-Your-Own Healthy Holiday Gifts

• To make my newest invention - the KettleBelt™ - simply thread an ordinary belt with a 25-lb. kettlebell.

• Got a sharp pocketknife a large block of wood? There's no reason you can't whittle yourself an elliptical.

• Burn a CD of your favorite workout songs. Or since you've shown you don't mind giving stolen goods, why not go to the mall and shoplift something nice?

• Got a bicyclist on your list? They really appreciate the gift of not hitting them with your car when you're out driving.

• Gift certificate for me to sit on person's feet while they do sit-ups.

• Make a healthy food gift basket by filling a gift basket with healthy food, dumbass.

• You can make a quart of homemade Kombucha soda if there's someone on your holiday list that you truly detest.

• As always, a subscription to my blog lets that special someone know just how much you care.