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Friday, August 10, 2012

And The Tips Just Keep On Coming...

• If you can’t eat foods with lots of antioxidants, at least try to eat foods without a lot of pro-oxidants.

• Calculating your target heart rate is simple; just do this quick equation in your head: If 1/2x +1/2(1/2x + 1/2(1/2x +1/2(1/2x + ... = y, then x = ? (note: that’s not really your target heart rate; I just wanted to see your head explode).

• You don’t need to purchase an expensive water filter; simply spit out all the harmful stuff as you’re drinking.

• Taking ginseng every day will help your memory, but I haven’t figured out good way to remember to take it.

• Keeping a food journal is useful but kind of boring; how about keeping a food murder mystery?

• Reading labels at the grocery store is important; I was about to buy a bottle of Karo Corn Syrup but looked at the ingredients and saw that it has corn syrup in it. For shame!

• You can make your own hand sanitizer by using a sink and some soap, dumbass.

• Eating at home instead of going out will help in your weight loss efforts, mostly because of what a bad cook you are.

• Refrain from calling yourself names like “idiot,” “total failure” or “loser.” Use friendlier terms, such as “brain-challenged,” “pre-success lollygagger” or “underwinner.”



THE DAILY SCALEY
I don't like to think of it as a gain... more of a...
OKAY, IT'S A FREAKIN' GAIN. GET OFF MY BACK! 
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5 comments:

  1. AmyAugust 10, 2012 at 10:23 AM

    I figure anything after the decimal point is too insignificant to count. Call it 248, same as yesterday. As I see it, you broke even.

    ReplyDelete
  2. AnonymousAugust 10, 2012 at 11:04 AM

    "You can make your own sanitizer by using a sink and some soap" priceless Jackism (Ive thought the same thing myself)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Jody - Fit at 54August 10, 2012 at 1:02 PM

    Don't let these minor decimal points deter you or even 1 pound. The scale can go up & down sometimes depending on what we eat, lack of drinking fluids, sodium, rest & a lot of other factors including age. Honestly Jack, the older I get, the more the scale goes up & down for no reason or small reasons so just keep plugging along! :-)

    ReplyDelete
  4. AnonymousAugust 10, 2012 at 3:12 PM

    Try measuring your arm's length. Then position your chair two inches farther away from your dining table than that.

    If that fails, try quantum physics...

    ReplyDelete
  5. AnonymousAugust 10, 2012 at 4:38 PM

    Wise a$$

    ReplyDelete