Tips to Live a Healthy Living Life

• When you're making a sandwich, if you replace the bread with lettuce, the cheese with lettuce, the lunch meat with lettuce and the mayonnaise with lettuce, well my friend, you have just magically changed a sandwich into a salad.

• Chew sugarless gum instead of food.

• An easy way to help you drink more aqua is to paint a bullseye on your tongue and give everyone you know a water pistol.

• Hate prunes? Maybe you'd like dried plums instead.

• Don't buy candy apples at the Farmer's Market unless they're in season.

• When you're at a restaurant, simply ask your waitress for 500 calories worth of their tastiest food.

• You can make your own "virtual" treadmill by going outside and walking or running, dumbass.

• Don't eat with your mouth full.

• One way to positively affect your health is to invent a time travel device, go back in time and encourage your mother to hook up with someone with better genes.

• If it's Friday night and you're really just craving pizza and beer; try clearing your mind and... man, pizza and beer sounds really good, doesn't it?  Can we get banana peppers on it because I really like banana peppers?

THE DAILY SCALEY

Let's just pretend that the last week didn't happen, okay? 

Back on track!