Welcome to Cooking with Jack, the cooking show where the secret ingredient is... love. And crushed red pepper. Today's webisode is going to show you, step by step, how to make the best fried chicken you ever tasted.
First, you're gonna want to get yourself some good fresh chicken.
How can you tell if your chicken is fresh? Well, is it clucking? Is it struggling in your arms? Does it small "chickeny"?
Now the old-timers will tell you to just grab the beast by the neck and give it a good twist, but that's just too barbaric for my sensibilities...
No, this is an animal with a feelings and a name (Dulce) and everything. My daughter Pisa wouldn't let me name any of the chickens and I'm great at naming animals. Who named the rabbit "Elvis Parsley"? Huh, Pisa? And who came up with that classic chicken moniker "Johann Sebastian Bawwk"?
Antyway, what you really need is a good reason to go into chicken-slaughtering mode...
Oh, so you're trying to steal my wallet? Are you kidding me, Dulce? I trusted you. I trusted you!
What were you gonna buy anyway? A cool wallet like mine?
You've stolen from me for the last time, you stupid clucker.
Naw... we can't start killing every time somebody steals something, especially with my track record.
YOUR BUCK-BUCK-BLOG IS STUPID!
Say that again, you petty, paltry poultry.
YOU HEARD ME. IT'S JUST GOOFY AND BOOOOORING!
That's it! I'm going all Colonel Sanders on your feathery ass!
Hold on, Stabby McGee. Look at what I left on the counter over there for you.
What? All I see is a hilarious refrigerator magnet...
What? I don't... huh?
Free eggs? How awesome is that?
And no bloody mess to clean up!
That was a close one. I was afraid you were gonna choke your right in front of us.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the Fry-day smile.
ReplyDeleteVery "clucking" funny ;)
ReplyDeleteI did NOT see where that was going...
ReplyDeleteLol!
lesley
Hahahahahaha. This is so funny Jack!! A talking chicken, who knew ;)
ReplyDeleteBwahahaha! Hilarious, Jack!
ReplyDeleteI'm with ya on the eggs and laughing cow - delish!
I was afraid to see what she'd left you on the counter! Was expecting something totally different! LOL
ReplyDeleteI already had a weird phobia type thing about live chickens (happy to deal with them when their dead and presented in plastic at the supermarket), and now you tell me that they talk?! Scary stuff.
ReplyDeletePretty sure this is the funniest thing ever!
ReplyDeleteMost traumatic childhood experience ever was going to my grandparents farm and watching Pops kill our dinner. He chopped off the head and that sucker started running towards me...headless! AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
ReplyDeleteyou had me a little scared when I saw the pic of the knife... lol
ReplyDeleteIf you find a pig that can lay bacon please keep me informed.
ReplyDeletePerfect ending!
ReplyDeleteHaha i was scared there for a sec!
ReplyDeleteLOL! Oh. My. All of my chickens have names too, lets see, there's Bessie, Bertha, Buela, and Bernice. Gladys, Gertrude...OK, I won't continue. Great post, I was on the edge of my seat ;)
ReplyDeleteJack...you are crazy.
ReplyDeleteyou had me going...I should've known you're a real softy!
ReplyDeleteOMG no words Jack ;-)
ReplyDeleteIs that really your wallet?! I love it!! Hope Dulce didnt empty it while you were enjoying those eggs :-D
ReplyDeleteYou CRACK me up Jack. Oh come on, someone had to say it.
ReplyDeleteI personally love the magnet that says "He is watching..."
ReplyDeleteThat one cracked me up! Especially because it was next to the Does my fat ass make my ass look bigger magnet. PRICELESS.
Seriously, that's how things are in my home too!
OMG, this is hilarious. Glad the chicken was spared!!!
ReplyDeleteSo which came first the pictures or the captions?
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