Tips to Get Through Thanksgiving Dinner

• Sneeze in the bowl when somebody passes you the candied yams
• 
In honor of Native American traditions, skip Thanksgiving dinner and go play penny slots at the casino


  
  
• Fake a coma
• 
Tell family you're on hunger strike until network brings back “Fly Girls”
• Read a brochure about diabetes while eating
• Cover your teeth with Play-Doh
• Chew each bite 200 times
• Go to the kitchen and get a new fork every time you take a bite
• Secretly feed half the food on your plate to your dog under the table (if you don’t have a dog, ask a friend to sit under the table and eat scraps)
• 
Do the ol' yank-the-tablecloth-off-the-table trick
• 
Suddenly remember that you forgot to fill out the warranty card on the new vacuum cleaner you just bought and run out of the house screaming
• 
Glue a bunch of rice cakes together, then carve a turkey out of it
• 
Instead of eating your mom's cooking, try eating my mom's cooking
• 
Recreate John Belushi's famous "I'm a zit!" mashed potato bit from Animal House
• 
Instead of having a big slice of homemade pumpkin pie with freshly whipped cream on top, why not try going to a back bedroom and weeping 
inconsolably?

.