I Am Even More Committed Than I Was Before

• I am 10,000,000% committed.
• If my commitment were represented as a bowling score, it would be 301.
• My license plate reads “KAMMINT” (okay, the first nine I requested were already taken)
• I am not only going to talk the talk and walk the walk, but I’m also going to balk the balk and chalk the chalk.
• My level of commitment makes a celibate monk look like Hugh Hefner after a Viagra sandwich.
• If you threw a golf ball into a bottomless hole and measured when it hit the ground, THAT times two would be close to my level of dedication.
• The Obama administration strongly considered me to head up the Government Task Force on Commitment, but decided my insanely high commitment level would overshadow the commitment committee’s work and quite possibly cause a financial crisis.
• Each morning, I begin the day with a staring contest with my reflection.
• I no longer use the words “ ,” “ ” or “ - .”
• I am Evil-Knievel-jumping-the-Snake-River committed.
• I am Houdini-handcuffed-and-thrown-down-Niagara-Falls committed.
• I am more committed to losing weight than a TV weatherman is to his Doppler Radar.
  
• Every morning, I ratchet up my commitment one more notch.
• I am to commitment what bacon is to the BLT.
• They say “never say never”, but what I say is “Never say ‘never say never” (I may have lost my point on that one…)
• If I wrote a hip-hop song, it would be called “Committed 2 My B*tches,” because 1) it needs to have a naughty word in the title in order for it to be successful and 2) it’s a love story.
• If commitment could be represented as a color, I would be crimson-violet with a streak of teal.
• Suicide bombers write to me all the time and ask “D*mn, how can I be as committed as you, brother?”
• They say the finest steel must go through the hottest fire. I have been through Hell’s pizza oven. Twice.