You know how I am.
When I see people with something on their blog that I don’t have… well, I get sh*tty.
Then I get whatever it is that they have that I don’t have.
Lately, I’ve been seeing folks throwing down the weight loss gauntlet to all their readers. It’s all weight loss challenge this, weight loss challenge that. It was just too much to bear.
So you are cordially invited to take part in my inaugural weight loss challenge: Jack Sh*t’s Kick-Ass Half-Ass Half-A-Pound Challenge. All participants will have one week in order to lose one-half pound.
I’m all about positive reinforcement, so I didn’t want to set the bar too high. I figured a half-pound loss would be a do-able achievement over seven days. What if you lose more than the half-pound? Whoop de doo, you’re awesome… but for this challenge, it won’t win you any fat-free brownie points. Super over-achievers, go find yourself another more challenging weight loss challenge.
Why should you participate, you ask? Two reasons.
- All successful participants in this one-week adventure will have their names forever emblazoned onto the Jack Sh*t’s Kick-Ass Half-Ass Half-A-Pound Challenge Commemorative Poem.
- I hate to say it, but you could really stand to lose another half a pound.
In order to be eligible for this program, you must email me your name, the name of your blog (if you have one) and your official weigh-in start weight before (or around) midnight tomorrow (or slightly after if you live someplace weird like Liverpool or Australia or Cleveland). Send your entries to JackSh.tGettinFit(AT)gmail(DOT)com.
If you are participating, you may proudly display the snazzy JSKAHAHAPC emblem on your own blog or web site denoting your pride and participation. You may also invite your own readers to come join the challenge, but please keep in mind that I have to work in every winner’s name into the commemorative poem and I’m a pretty lazy son-of-a-b*tch, so don't make it sound too extra-fantastic.
In seven days, I will demand your current weigh-in information (there’s a chance I may show up at your home to verify weigh-in information, so no cheating!), and those participants whose half-ass efforts have resulted in a kick-ass half-pound loss will join me (am I participating? Oh, hell yeah!) in the loser’s circle.
Are you up to the challenge?
Nice. My challenge idea is "Last Calorie Counter Standing." It's not a weight loss challenge, it's a "stay within your calorie budget challenge." If you go over, you're out! Last one standing wins! How many days can you survive?
ReplyDeleteKidding. Not really doing one, but you never know!!
Nice post.
Heck yes.
ReplyDeleteI will post my weight here wednesday morning!
ReplyDeleteA hot summer challenge!
ReplyDeleteMY current summer challenge is to have a "boring summer" - The Most Boring Summer Ever - no drama, no melt-downs, no bingeing, just stickin' to it.
You challenge sounds more- er, challenging!
I'm always up for a challenge. I don't know though. If I just need to lose half a freaking pound, I might have to cut out sex this coming week. Don't want to go over achieving or anything like that. Pffttt!
ReplyDeleteSounds good to me! I could stand to lose many half-pounds.
ReplyDeleteIt's on! And that's doable.
ReplyDeleteI love your two reasons for joining. And you're welcome to come check my scale, but you have to make me laugh while you visit. ;-)
ReplyDeleteThis sounds like a challenge I can sink my teeth into! I'll be sending my info tomorrow!
ReplyDeleteFirst Im not sure if this is a joke or a REAL challenge. lol Second I love the fact that the 1/2 pound is actually achievable for ME! lololollo
ReplyDeleteso is it REAL? hehe
I'm IN! This is totally perfect for me since I am officially in Maintenance mode and half-pound is just what I need to stay there.
ReplyDeleteJack, have you ever considered going on Twitter? We would love to have your 140-character quips to keep us laughing (and losing) all day! I know you'd have tons of friends (no pun) instantly!
This is as REAL a challenge as any challenge ever challenged. C'mon, TJ...don't be a wuss.
ReplyDeleteAnd Foodie, if I started twatting and twittering, I'd never get anything else done...
Would you really come to my home?
ReplyDeleteGod, I am sucker for anything. Count me in. Half a pound sounds do-able.
Point two really got to me. You hit me deep, Jack Sh*t, deep.
I lose 1/2 lb. just from the calories I burn laughing at your blog. I love it!
ReplyDeleteOh boy. Now this is one I think I can do! I am just half-assed enough to get this done. Thanks :)
ReplyDeleteI'M IN! I'll give you my weight from my home scale tomorrow morning 6am PST time!
ReplyDeleteHot diggity, a challenge made for me! What to do...what to do...my scales only weigh me in 2/10th increments. What happens if it shows taht I lost .4? Oh my word...I would be a failure! But .6 an overachiever! The pressure mounts!!! But I'm in!!!
ReplyDeleteYou are hilarious! I'm in!
ReplyDeleteI don't own a scale. Can I make a weight up? Or guess? LOL Giving up chocolate has to be worth 1/2 a pound.
ReplyDeleteJust sent off an email, count me in. I can give a half assed attempt at half a pound.
ReplyDeleteIn the event that you do not have access to a scale, you may have someone else pick you up and guesstimate how much you weigh.
ReplyDeleteI would take part, but I will be on a remote Scottish island on the due report-in time, with no interweb connection (the things a girl has to do to get away from you lot!).
ReplyDeleteLook forward to seeing how many achieve it. It is a half-pound OFF, right?
I'm all in! This is hilarious! If I eff this one up, I might just end it all! :)
ReplyDeletehell yes.
ReplyDeleteI'm in just to see how many names you can actually get in the poem, but I will lose all respect for you if you take the easy way out with Fatty Patty!! Oops, I am getting ahead of myself...I still need to lose 1/2 a pound.
ReplyDeleteIf I lose 5 pounds on my own in a week, will you write a whole poem about me? DEAL OR NO DEAL?
ReplyDeleteI just took a dook and lost 2 lbs.
ReplyDeleteNow what?
Can you top that shit?
youre too freakin funny.
ReplyDeleteseriously.
(*checks to see if the front door is locked*)
I just sent you an email to join in the fun.
ReplyDeleteHalf a pound sounds great for my first challenge.
Mahaha I love your idea!! It's probably too late for me to join? But I'll be back to check how everyone does XD
ReplyDeleteWhen is the deadline for the weigh-in?
ReplyDelete