• Lately, I’ve been spending more on wine than on my mortgage.
• Little old lady at the gym asked to use barbells when I was done with them.
• My latest weight-loss manifesto included eleven references to Pop-Tarts.
• I ran a half- half- half- half- half- half- half-marathon.
• Instead of using scale, have started “guesstimating” my weight.
• Replaced 100 nightly sit-ups with trying to stuff 100 Oreo’s in mouth at one time.
• I’ve worn out my Lazy-Boy recliner.
• Last month, watched entire Netflix library.
• Yesterday, I counted watching a Bowflex commercial as my daily workout.
• Thought I was eating fat-free Greek yogurt, but turns out it was Ben & Jerry’s Chubby Hubby.
• Starting driving down to end of driveway to get the morning paper.
• Daily journal just reads: “Blah blah blah blah blah.”
• Counted can of vanilla frosting as a serving of fruit.
• I’m bench-pressing same amount as my friend One-Armed Johnny.
I count chocolate as a serve of dairy.
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