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Monday, April 11, 2016

Just Ask Jack


Dear Jack,
Is there a magic pill that can make me loose weight?

No, but there is a magic book that can teach you how to spell words correctly and it's called a "dictionary."

Dear Jack,
I know I should drink more water, but I really don't like water. What can I do?

You can try either infusing your water with fruits, vegetables or herbs or consider putting a couple of lit sparklers in your mouth.

Dear Jack, 
I know I should exercise, but I've got seven loads of laundry to do. I'm at my wit's end.

Do you have access to a can of lighter fluid and a box of matches?

Dear Jack,
I have a blog and often have difficulty coming up with fresh things to write about. Any suggestions?

Have you considered starting a feature where you pretend readers are sending you questions and then answer them in a charmless and condescending manner?


Got a question for Jack?
You can email me at my email address.
Oh yeah… here it is right here.

2 comments:

  1. hahaha - your wit always inspires me! No gloomy - doomy - whiny sh*t. You keep weight loss fun. Thanks Jack and btw

    Dear Jack,
    every time I try to exercise I get this tired feeling. Is there anyway I can exercise and not feel tired or sweaty? I don't like to sweat. or feel tired.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well, you should definitely try... ummm... dammit... I got nothing!

      Delete