Should You Try to Lose Weight?

Pro: You feel better and wake up each day with more energy and vitality.

Con: You no longer get full value at all-you-can-eat buffet.

Pro: Can run several miles without stopping.

Con: Used to be able to fall to sleep more easily (basically, any time you sat down)

Pro: Don’t have to buy strangely branded clothes in plus-size stores.

Con: Lot of coupons for Hostess snack products just sitting there going to waste.

Pro: Blood pressure and cholesterol numbers reduced.

Con: Gravy no longer available at every meal.

Pro: Prevention of Type 2 diabetes.

Con: Require more water when you take a bath.

Pro: Probability that you’ll live longer.

Con: More stinky laundry from workout wear.

Pro: Less self-conscious at the beach.

Con: Constant compliments about how good you look might start to make you feel uncomfortable.

Pro: Better *boom chaka boom boom*

Con: Ass groove in sofa might no longer be quite as comfortable.

Pro: No longer disgusted when you see my reflection in mirror.

Con: Miss relationship you had with guy that owns Chinese restaurant on the corner.

Pro: Fun trying to get to the end of the treadmill.

Con: No more fun trying to get to the end of Olive Garden’s "Bottomless Breadstick Basket".

Pro: Fewer health problems.

Con: Have kick-ass health insurance program and no opportunity to use it.