How to Get Kicked Out of a Weight Watchers Meeting

• Loudly challenge everyone in the room to a caramel apple-eating contest
• Wear a Sumo wrestling outfit to meeting
• Bring a more forgiving scale and offering “second opinion” weigh-ins for $5
• Stand on your chair and sing “I Like Big Butts” at the top of your lungs
• Pick a fight with somebody because she’s sitting in your “lucky chair”
• Clean your gun during meeting
• Scream “I’M SO DAMN HUNGRY” every five minutes
• Wear pants made out of fruit leather
• Take bets during weigh-ins
• Try to organize a séance during meeting
• Loudly repeat every single word the leader says
• Repaint the wall because you claim the wall color is responsible for your recent weight gain
• Wheel in a wagon filled with steaming hot taco meat
• Excessive public flossing
• Spend entire meeting making elaborate candy corn sculptures
• Dress up like a giant Gummi Bear and prance around the room during meeting
• Try to sign people up to your knock-off weight loss program “Weight Watchpersons” at a booth in the restroom
• Try to hook up your own hammock to sit in
• Insist on weighing in nude