Come Wee Little Children, For I Have Weight-Loss Songs for Thee

Little Jacky Poo Poo

Little Jacky Poo Poo,


Hopping through the workday.


Scooping up the cheese puffs


And ploppin' 'em in his mouth.

Down came the good health fairy and she said…

"Little Jacky Poo Poo,


I don't want to see you


Scooping up the cheese puffs


And ploppin’ 'em in your mouth.


I'll give you three chances,


And if you don't behave


I'll turn you into a goon!"



The next day:



Little Jacky Poo Poo,


Hopping through the workday.

Scooping up the cheese puffs


And ploppin' 'em in his mouth.



Down came the good health fairy and she said…

"Little Jacky Poo Poo,


I don't want to see you


Scooping up the cheese puffs


And ploppin’ 'em in your mouth.


I'll give you two more chances,


And if you don't behave


I'll turn you into a goon!"

The next day:



Little Jacky Poo Poo,


Hopping through the workday.

Scooping up the cheese puffs


And ploppin' 'em in his mouth.



Down came the good health fairy and she said…

Down came the good health fairy and she said…

"Little Jacky Poo Poo,


I don't want to see you


Scooping up the cheese puffs


And ploppin’ 'em in your mouth.


I gave you three chances


And you didn't behave


Now you're a goon! POOF!

Ummmmm… POOF! POOOOOOOF!

Hmmmm… that’s odd!"

“I was already a goon,” smiled Little Jacky Poo Poo.



Oh Where, Oh Where Has My Beer Belly Gone?

Oh where, oh where has my beer belly gone?
Oh where, oh where can it be?

With my meals cut short and my workouts long.

Oh where, oh where can it… oh, I see! It’s all about burning more calories than you consume. So simple!

Ain’t It Great to Be Healthy?

A horse and a flea and three fat dogs,

Tried to lose the most on their weight loss blogs.

The horse lost a pound and taunted the flea.

“Dammit,” said the flea, “Tain’t fair for me!”



Blog, blog, ain’t it great to be healthy?
Blog, blog, ain’t it great to be healthy?

Happy and hearty the whole day through
Blog, blog, ain’t it great to be healthy?



Do Your Chins Hang Low?

Do your chins hang low?
Do they wobble to and fro?
Do you have a turkey neck?
Can you knead ‘em like bread dough?
Do they make you say “Oh dear-a!”
When you look into a mirror?
Do your chins hang low?

Do your sides hang wide?
Do they flap from side to side?
Does your belly kinda flop?
Do you have a muffin top?
One of the low-waisted types?
Do you look real bad in stripes?
Do your sides hang wide?

Is the weight coming down?
Have you quit messing around?
Are you starting to eat less?
Are you making good progress?
Are you starting to believe it,
That you really can achieve it?
Is the weight coming down?