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Monday, April 27, 2015

Just a Few More Things That’ll Get You Kicked Out of Whole Foods

• Holding grocery cart with two hands above your head as you proclaim to be “Whole-iath the Giant.”

• Demanding that check-out person let you use conveyor belt for your treadmill workout.

• Singing a medley of Justin Bieber songs over the intercom.

• Dressing like a giant avocado and request that customers squeeze you.

• Trying to jam a cantaloupe through the coffee grinder.

• Leaving a trail of trail mix through the store.

• Parking your car in the produce section.

• Spending 10 minutes licking the glass at the dessert display.

• Pretending that you know Japanese and get in heated argument with sushi chef.

• Soaking your bare feet in the soup bin.

• Cracking that “Whole Foods? More like Whole Paycheck!” joke.






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