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Monday, March 9, 2015

More Weight-Loss Tips for the Incredibly Rich

• Take off your diamond ring before weighing in; that sucker must be over 5 lbs!

• Have your chauffeur park in the farthest parking space when you’re on your next shopping spree.

• If you’re having Iranian Beluga caviar, from the eggs of an extremely rare albino sturgeon found in the Caspian Sea, try putting it on reduced-fat Wheat Thins.

• It’s incredibly tempting to eat the food that children leave on their plates at mealtimes, so consider packing up your kids and sending them to a very nice boarding school.

• Give yourself $10,000 every time you meet one of your weight-loss goals.

• Make working out more convenient by joining every single gym in your city.

• Not getting enough fruits and vegetables in your diet? Why not try screaming at your personal chef?

• Do arm exercises with any gold bars you have laying around the house.

• Can’t quit drinking champagne every day? Try switching to diet Dom Perignon.

• Positive reinforcement can be a key component for weight loss, so hire somebody to follow you around and tell you how fantastic your ass looks in those jeans.





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8 comments:

  1. RichardMarch 9, 2015 at 7:15 AM

    What about my Rolex Jack, should I take it off?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Cole Walter MellonMarch 9, 2015 at 8:33 AM

      Are you sure that's a real Rolex? I mean, it's got a plastic band...

      Delete
  2. UnknownMarch 19, 2015 at 3:38 AM

    I agree, Really nice work on post have good information.





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    Thanks!

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