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Sunday, January 5, 2014

I Finally See the Error of My Weighs

So, I found my scale.

Somebody had wrapped it in a bath towel and put it in a used pizza box, then stuck the pizza box in a slightly bigger used pizza box, then put that pizza box inside… okay, let’s just say there were several more pizza boxes culminating in a jumbo, super-sized monster pizza box. 

Anyway, somebody had hidden the scale inside endless pizza boxes and then buried them in the backyard by the compost pile (which, inexplicably, was also filled with pizza boxes).

So anyway…

I found my scale, took a deep breath, tried to remember whether it was luckier to step on it left foot first or right foot first… and then tentatively stepped on (left foot first) and…

AAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (should have gone with right foot first, I suppose).


THE WEEKLY PHYSIQUELY
  • Weight when I first started blogging: 291.5 lbs
  • Current weight: 269.7 (oh hell… let’s just call it 270)
  • Loss: (watch this space)
  • Goal for coming week: Do opposite of everything I’ve been doing recently

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11 comments:

  1. tzJanuary 5, 2014 at 11:37 AM

    oh wow, bummer, but you are a really funny writer! Often my advise to myself is to do the opposite of what's been done (well it's certainly my parenting philosophy) Good luck this upcoming week.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Cole Walter MellonJanuary 5, 2014 at 8:32 PM

      Do you mean ha-ha funny or ha-ha funny? Wait, those are the same thing!!!!

      Delete
  2. NatalieJanuary 5, 2014 at 3:06 PM

    It doesn't matter which foot you put on the scale - as long as you keep the other one firmly on the floor.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Lap Band GalJanuary 5, 2014 at 4:15 PM

    Loving your new weigh-ins accountability. Keep going. :-)

    ReplyDelete
  4. Sunny DucklingJanuary 5, 2014 at 7:02 PM

    Ha! was thinking the left foot would be luckier too! Why do I never remember that? (Right foot dominant).

    At least someone was thoughtful enough to dispose of all those pizza boxes for you. Pity they couldn't have left you the pizza though. ;)

    ReplyDelete
  5. LynJanuary 5, 2014 at 7:11 PM

    2014 is our year, Jack :)

    ReplyDelete
  6. UnknownJanuary 5, 2014 at 7:32 PM

    mmmm..Pizza…lol… way to hold your self accountable ! Keep it up!
    Jessica from www.sparklesandlglue.com

    ReplyDelete
  7. Atomic MelanieJanuary 5, 2014 at 9:19 PM

    Hey, we all fall off the sh*tter sometimes. Just gotta climb right back on! Hang in there!

    ReplyDelete
  8. AnonymousJanuary 6, 2014 at 12:18 AM

    Oh, noooooooo. I hate when that happens. (I've found my lost weight, too. Only I found allll of it but 3 pounds.)

    Like Lyn siai, "This is our year." We'll get this weight off. Again. For the last time.

    Deb

    ReplyDelete
  9. CupCake EarthquakeJanuary 8, 2014 at 12:28 PM

    You've totally got this!! You can do this. You have. You are awesome. The end.

    ReplyDelete