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Thursday, August 22, 2013

More Ways to Make More Time for More Exercise

• On January 1st of each year, pay all of your bills for the entire year.

• Instead of wasting time doing laundry, invest in industrial-sized barrel of Fabreeze.

• When working a sudoku puzzle, just put random numbers in random squares.

• Go through car wash at 60 miles per hour.

• One way to get your house cleaned faster is to threaten to fire your housekeeper unless she picks up the pace.

• When dropping your kids off, teach them to roll out of the car so you don’t have to come to a complete stop. They’ll think it’s fun and you’ll pick up a few valuable seconds in your day.

• If you have a flat tire, just keep driving, moron.

• Speed-pray.

• See if you can find a combination manicurist-proctologist.

• Keep a razor in your car so you can shave your legs while stuck in traffic.

• How about this for a bedtime story:  Once upon a time, there was a princess who lived happily ever after. The end.

2 comments:

  1. Is it Fabreeze Friday again? Yeah, I do that one. My wardrobe only makes it to Thursday then the least dirt outfit gets steamed in the shower and sprayed down for Friday. Then I hide in my office for the day with the door closed.

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  2. More time saving tips

    - When an argument starts with your wife just tell her she's right, time saved between 2 hours and 6 weeks
    - When going through above car wash at 60mph open the sunroof to clean the inside of the car at the same time AND avoid the need for a shower. Time saved 30mins - 1 hour
    - Find a woman who really hates you and buy her a house. Time saved - several years of a hellish marriage plus a nice saving on divorce lawyers' fees

    I'm sure there's more

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