The Big Jack Healthy Mountain

One evening as the sun went down,
My tummy started hurtin’

Downed too many chips with too many beers,

Ate way too much, I’m certain.
Now I’m headed for a place that’s far away

It’s a Fountain-of-Youth Fountain.
So come with me, time to break free

On the Big Jack Healthy Mountain.



On the Big Jack Healthy Mountain,
Your pants don’t get too tight, 

Where fresh fruit grows on bushes,

And you sleep well every night.

Where the calories are never empty,

And you’re focused every day.

Work your lats and your knees

And you eat cottage cheese.
Lemonade’s sugar-free
.
It’s a great place to be,

The Big Jack Healthy Mountain.



On the Big Jack Healthy Mountain,

All the folks have nice lean legs,

And they’ve taken all the cholesterol

Out of every kind of eggs.
The evening meals are good and fresh,
And your future’s full of life.

Oh, I’m bound to go

Where there’s no plateau.

When you hop on the scale

It’s a brand-new low,

On the Big Jack Healthy Mountain.



On the Big Jack Healthy Mountain,

You wear spandex pants to work.

And you’re friendly to everyone around
(Even if they are a jerk).
You do a workout in the mornin’,
Go for a run each afternoon.
Eat a healthy stew,

And a salad, too,

And keep doing the best

That you can do,

On the Big Jack Healthy Mountain.



On the Big Jack Healthy Mountain,
Running shoes never wear out
You’re satisfied from eating
Just a single Brussel sprout.

There’s no such thing as cheesecake,
It’s all health every day.  

I’m bound to stay

Where you run each day,
Where your final fate
Is you’re at goal weight.
On the Big Jack Healthy Mountain.

...

I’ll see you all on this long haul

On the Big Jack Healthy Mountain.