Tiptoe Through the Health Tips

• Baby aspirin, which has proven to be effective as a heart attack deterrent, is very expensive. However, you can make your own by mixing two parts regular aspirin and one part baby.

• When you’re considering snacks, be choosey instead of cheesey.

• Some fitness centers will let you work out for free if you are good enough at hypnotizing people.

• You can use your smartphone to help in your weight loss efforts. Just this morning, I burned over 300 calories running around the house screaming “Has anybody seen my phone?”

• You can turn your bed into a workout trampoline by… well, I guess all you have to do is jump on it. Did you really need me to tell you that? Come on!

• Ask yourself, “Do I really need to add a packet of sugar to this glass of sno-cone syrup?”

• Try to resist the temptation to eat only “whole” foods (for instance, a whole bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken).

• Resist the urge to eat an entire bag of potato chips during long elevator trips.

• One way to drink more water is to tinker around with the recipe. For instance, instead of two parts hydrogen and one part oxygen, why not trying it with three (or four) parts hydrogen, one part water?