A Night on the Strip...

Albert: Hey, Hey, Hey…

Jack: Hey, aren’t you…?

Albert: I’m Faaaaaat Albert!

Jack: Uh oh, Al. That’s exactly the kind of negative self recriminations that we’re fighting here at T.O.O.N.

Albert: Who?

Jack: T.O.O.N. Toons Overcoming Obesity Now; it’s my new weight-loss workshop for overweight cartoon characters. We meet every Monday evening.

Albert: The flyer said there’d be free cookies.

Jack: Yeah, I just put that on the flyer to help with attendance. Here... have a seat and I’ll introduce the others. That’s Charlie Brown.

Charlie Brown: Good grief... I’m not fat. I just have a really big, really round head.

Jack: Uh huh, and that’s the… well… that’s the Fat Broad from B.C.

Fat Broad: I’m on the Paleo diet.

Jack: And beside her is Cathy.

Cathy: Awwwwwk. I just want to lose 10 pounds before swimsuit season starts tomorrow!

Jack: Whatever. And that’s the Pointy-Haired Boss from Dilbert.

PHB: I thought this was a manager’s seminar.

Jack: That’s Walt from Zits and the dad from FoxTrot. And… okay, who let that damn cat in again?

Sgt Snorkel: Ummmmm, you can’t say “damn”… you need to say “%&;#” instead.

Mr. Dithers: I don’t get it; I’ve got an employee that eats these giant sandwiches and he’s skinny as all Hell… I mean, “#@&%%;”.

Jack: Ummmm… the meeting hasn’t officially kicked off yet, Mister D.

Ziggy: Hey, there’s a little kid in the parking lot keying up all the cars.

Mr. Wilson: DENNNNNNNNIS!

Jack: Where’s everybody going? We need to get the meeting started!

Albert: Hey, is that cat eating lasagna?

Jack: $&%! That’s my supper, Garfield!

Albert: Hey, hey, hey! This is great! Where do I sign up?

Jack: I hate Mondays.