Rise and Re-Shine: More Healthy Morning Strategies

• Fried eggs are healthier if you don't fry them.

• To get more sleep, try going to bed the night before.

• Organization is the key to a stress-free morning, so go alphabetize your spice rack RIGHT THIS VERY SECOND.

• Main benefit to early morning workout is that it's fairly easy to convince yourself you're just having a bad nightmare.

• You can make your own goose down pillow by filling a pillowcase with goose down, dumbass.

• Read a motivational quotation every morning (here, I'll give you one for today: "Every minute brings you that much closer to death"... well, hopefully you can find a better one than that on your own).

• Take a baby aspirin each morning to significantly reduce your risk of a heart attack. I'll tell you what, go ahead and take a teenage aspirin, an adult aspirin and a little old lady aspirin, too. You just can't be too careful with all that heart attack business.

• There's no better way to rid yourself of morning breath than a couple of squirts of Fabreze Hawaiian Aloha fabric refresher.

• Instead of a depressing newspaper, let's start the morning by reading one of our favorite blogs *hint hint*.

THE DAILY SCALEY

  

Call me Puddin Tame, hopped on the scale and weighed just the same.