My Birthday Survival Plan

Tomorrow's my birthday, so if you're planning on throwing me a surprise party (and I'm not saying that you SHOULD be planning on throwing me a surprise party because I hate surprise parties), but if you ARE thinking about throwing me a surprise party, you'd better get going. YOU'RE RUNNING OUT OF TIME!

Anyway, I'm too busy practicing looking surprised in the mirror to actually write something new, so here's my to-do list from my last birthday, which I'm planning on following through on again...

• Don’t eat my age in waffles for breakfast
• Call in “old” at work
• Rue all the mistakes I’ve made in my life
• Update "to-do" list with new mistakes
• Celebrate my B25K completion this year (“Birth to 5K”)
• Only track 1 out of every 10 calories I consume today
• Sell whatever present my mom gets me on ebay
• Say my prayers and take my vitamins like professional wrestler Hulk Hogan said I should
• Work out in my birthday suit
• Take a big bowl of fat-free ice cream, flush it down the toilet and enjoy a bowl of the good stuff
• Drag out a pair of fat pants and thank heaven they no longer fit
• Use my “Get Out of One Workout Free” card
• “Afternoon delight,” if you know what I mean (yes, I mean a nap)
• Drink plenty of water… among other beverages
• Get 100 comments on my birthday post (*hint hint*)
• Strip karaoke
• Keep trying to convince myself that age is just a number
• Eat healthy, eat less, exercise... starting tomorrow
• Don’t even bother making a wish before blowing out the candles; they’ve all already come true

THE DAILY SCALEY

What? You gotta problem with that?