• Charges 99¢ a minute.
• Admits to being a Nazi war criminal.
• Stays on phone for entire session, in which you overhear several comments about “this fat loser that I’m working with right now.”
• Not sure what a “lunge” is.
• Insists that you wear thong and ass-less chaps during session.
• Keeps curling up under bench press bench and falling asleep.
• All instructions are in baby talk.
• Wears a shirt that reads “CERTIFIED PERSONAL TRAITOR”
• Whips you across the back with belt while you’re doing rowing machine.
• Carries a water bottle filled with Jack Daniels.
• Hits you in the facew with pepper spray if you don’t finish a set.
• Keeps talking about some post his buddy Jack wrote on his dumbass blog.
So YOU'RE the Jack that slave-driver, whiskey-swilling alcoholic traitor at the gym keeps blabbering about!
ReplyDeleteActually one of the trainers at my gym DOES read your blog...and what's wrong with having Jack Daniels in my water bottle :) ?
ReplyDeleteLAUGHED OUT LOUD at the tee-remark.
ReplyDeleteActually one of the trainers at my gym DOES read your blog...and what's wrong with having Jack Daniels in my water bottle :)
ReplyDelete