How to Appreciate the Hell Out of Some Art

For the next few days, Jack Sh*t is chronicling his adventures on his recent trip to Italy as well as including tips to help you plan your own international travel. It is his special way of saying "Nanna nanna boo boo, I went to Italy!" to all his loyal readers.

 Would you like to learn how to appreciate the hell out of some art, especially if you find yourself (as I did) gazing at some of the world’s most famous masterpieces?

Fantastic! You’ve come to the right place, my friend. Appreciating the hell out of some art is just a matter of asking yourself a few simple questions about each piece as you look at it…

• Does it express successfully what it’s intending to express?

• Does it amaze me in a different way each time I look at it?

• Does the piece provide a glimpse of the time in which it was created?

• Does its visual impact of mysterious, pure power increase as I look at it?

• Is it unforgettable?

• How dead is this artist?

• Have I ever heard of him before?

• Are they doing something terrible to Jesus?

• Is there lots of fancy gold in the painting?

• Is the frame ornate as all get-out?

• Is everybody else nodding and admiring it?

• Is some snooty professor-looking dude with horn-rimmed glasses pontificating about it?

• Isn’t he pompous?

• Don’t you hate him?

• Do they have a concession stand here?

• Do you think they sell Raisinets?

• How could I get a job sitting around playing games on my phone while I “guard” art?

• What if I stole a famous masterpiece, but then grew to love it so much that I just wanted to hang it up in my bedroom and admire it all the time?

• What would they do if I took out a Sharpee and started drawing Hitler mustaches on all the angels?

• I wonder what I’m missing on TV?


Remember, when you're appreciating the hell out of some art, it's not the answers that are important... it's the questions!

Now go hit up a museum!