• Instead of wasting time doing laundry, invest in industrial-sized barrel of Fabreeze.
• When working a sudoku puzzle, just put random numbers in random squares.
• Go through car wash at 60 miles per hour.
• One way to get your house cleaned faster is to threaten to fire your housekeeper unless she picks up the pace.
• When dropping your kids off, teach them to roll out of the car so you don’t have to come to a complete stop. They’ll think it’s fun and you’ll pick up a few valuable seconds in your day.
• If you have a flat tire, just keep driving, moron.
• Speed-pray.
• See if you can find a combination manicurist-proctologist.
• Keep a razor in your car so you can shave your legs while stuck in traffic.
• How about this for a bedtime story: Once upon a time, there was a princess who lived happily ever after. The end.
Hi-larious. Reminds me of an old commercial, teenager's driving his grandma somewhere but is in a hurry to get somewhere else (fast food or soda commercial I think.) He pulls over, opens the door and yells "Tuck and roll, Grandma, tuck and roll!" Now I just need to get the razor in may car....
ReplyDeleteI was hoping youd suggest we PUSH our car through the car wash..
ReplyDeleteI'm gonna spray Fabreeze on my workout clothes. I'll probably have a lot of space and machines to myself while working out.
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