Hey Kids! Weight Loss Tips.

• It helps to think of food as "fuel", so take a huge whiff of gasoline before each meal.

• You can get a free personal training session by writing a check that bounces.

• One way to drink more water is to think like a dolphin. Squeeeee squeeeeeee.

• A 50-lb toothbrush allows for an effective arm workout as well as good dental hygiene.

• When you're at a restaurant, ask your waiter to slap you if you try to order dessert.

• Cut out your pre- and mid-weigh-in snack.

• Plan out every meal you're going to have between now and when you die.

• A glass of fresh celery juice will make you never want to put anything in your mouth ever again.

• If you eat more mindfully, then your mind will be more eaterly (okay, it's entirely possible that I've done too many weight-loss tips.

Hungry for more? Well, check out my guest post over at Operation Shrink Charlie's Big Butt.