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Thursday, March 10, 2011

If You Give a Binge-Eater a Cookie...

If you give a binge-eater a cookie...

Chances are he’ll want a second one.

And if you give him a second one, you might as well give him the entire box.

And if you give him the entire box of cookies, he’ll probably want a glass of milk to go with it.

And all that sweet stuff will probably make him want some cheese and crackers.

And if you give him some cheese and crackers… well, you’re probably going to have to get him some more cheese and crackers.

And since he’s probably f’ed up his weigh-in at this point, he’ll probably go ahead and order a pizza.

And if he orders a pizza, he’s going to want a beer to go with it.

And then another beer.

And another.

And another.

Etc.

And if he drinks all that beer, he’s probably going to want a little something sweet to settle his tummy.

How about a cookie?



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22 comments:

  1. Diminishing LucyMarch 10, 2011 at 6:29 AM

    Are you perched on my shoulder, with all your cookie cheese crack beer talk?

    ReplyDelete
  2. AnonymousMarch 10, 2011 at 6:32 AM

    Oh how well you know me Jack. Mmmm....cookies.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Karen@WaistingTimeMarch 10, 2011 at 6:39 AM

    Oh I love this one! It brings me back:)

    ReplyDelete
  4. LisaMarch 10, 2011 at 6:47 AM

    That was me on Sunday...
    I really wish I could stop having that cookie.

    ReplyDelete
  5. happileahMarch 10, 2011 at 6:57 AM

    Exactly!! My husband told me that a girl at work gave him an oreo & I freaked out (in my mind)--How can you give someone ONE oreo? That's like torture, either give me none or give me the whole box!

    ReplyDelete
  6. MissaMarch 10, 2011 at 7:13 AM

    I loved these books. But now that I realize that it teaches our young to eat cookies, muffins, popcorn and all other kinds of sh*t, forget it!
    Thanks for ruining Christmas, Santa!!!!

    Lessons learned: don't eat food larger than head.

    Cheers,
    Missa
    LosingEthel

    ReplyDelete
  7. ThaisMarch 10, 2011 at 8:34 AM

    yup. sounds about right.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Kerri OMarch 10, 2011 at 8:39 AM

    AMEN! I remember days like that all too vividly.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Annabel @ www.FeedMeImCranky.comMarch 10, 2011 at 8:53 AM

    i don't appreciate this glimpse into my life after what shall only be called the "anniversary cake fiasco" last night. D'oh! ;)

    ReplyDelete
  10. LaurieMarch 10, 2011 at 9:10 AM

    You are singing MY song!

    ReplyDelete
  11. marieMarch 10, 2011 at 9:15 AM

    Hey! Why is a picture of me on here?

    ReplyDelete
  12. Pamela E. WilliamsMarch 10, 2011 at 9:33 AM

    Love it!! are you talking about me....?

    :-D

    ReplyDelete
  13. Gary TempleMarch 10, 2011 at 9:37 AM

    Hey, good story but what about a little credit to the original thief of the story...huh?

    ReplyDelete
  14. Kelly the Happy TexanMarch 10, 2011 at 10:20 AM

    Well, I would have taken the cookie but now you have me feeling all guilty and stuff.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Rachel EdwardsMarch 10, 2011 at 10:22 AM

    I can totally relate! x

    ReplyDelete
  16. Anne HMarch 10, 2011 at 11:21 AM

    Cookie schmookie-
    Who needs em?

    ReplyDelete
  17. LynMarch 10, 2011 at 12:26 PM

    I hate that I relate so much...

    ReplyDelete
  18. InWeighOverMyHeadMarch 10, 2011 at 12:35 PM

    The only thing I would change about this mac n cheese instead of cheese and crackers. lol

    ReplyDelete
  19. angelaMarch 10, 2011 at 1:49 PM

    So so true. I'll pass on the cookie. ;)

    ReplyDelete
  20. JulieMarch 10, 2011 at 1:51 PM

    Wow...so glad to know I'm not alone...

    ReplyDelete
  21. Jody - Fit at 53March 10, 2011 at 4:22 PM

    I stopped in my tracks at the word COOKIE! :-) My weekend treat!!! I do stop though!

    ReplyDelete
  22. Fatty Cake HeatherMarch 11, 2011 at 10:40 AM

    OMG!! How hilarious! Nothing like feeling like your secrets are out! Lesson learned, I don't buy/make cookies anymore because frankly I can't handle the downward spiral that follows...and yes, its usually cheese and crackers...and then the rationale that I blew the day, so might as well order what I want...and slap a giant margarita on top while I'm at it!

    ReplyDelete